I’m sitting at my desk one day, watching time, and praying that it goes faster so I can head home, out of nowhere, my office bff Sarah, drops her backside on the corner of my desk and lets out a sigh that I’m sure the whole office hears.
“Hey, what’s up? What’s with the moodiness? It’s almost time to go home.” I say. She turns to me slightly and with worry all over her face
“Oh, Demee” she cries out, puts her face in her palms and looks away again.
“What’s the problem?” I ask, this time more concerned than I was a few minutes earlier. “What is wrong?”
“It’s Timothy” she replies, lifting her face and staring into the space in front of her.
“During deserts, the other night when we were out for dinner, he made a very awkward statement.”
“What did he say?” my eyes going to the clock on the wall, checking to see if we had enough time to kill, we did.
“He said that it is the woman’s place to carry all domestic responsibility in the home.” I raise an eyebrow. “He said what?” my voice rising, the cheek of him, I thought and rolled my eyes.
She nods to my eye roll “Right? I did the same thing when he said it. I was like, are you for real?” She shakes her head and continues,
“The funny thing is, we were celebrating a month of dating. Now I’m like, I don’t even know this guy. Are we even compatible? I don’t want to waste my time to be with someone who I have nothing in common with.”
She turns to me, searching.
“Uhmmm, I think Timothy is a good guy even though I haven’t spent a lot of time with him, but I’m not the one to tell you if you are compatible with your partner.” Her shoulders drop. I know she’s disappointed, but there is nothing I can do, it’s her decision.
“What I can do is give you pointers to help with your resolve.”
“Really?” she asks, her spirit rising.
“Yes” I reply
She gets up from my desk, walks over to Sheryl’s, picks a chair, and drags it back to mine.
“I’m all ears,” she says.
“We know compatibility means two people being able to coexist or cohabit without problems or conflicts. Don’t get me wrong every relationship has its ups and downs, and disagreements are usually welcome in a partnership, but what are your disagreements about?”
She nods in agreement. I continue,
- “What are your core/basic values? Do both of you agree on the most basic of things? If you share core values, this can make difficult decisions easier to make. Values could be in any category, example, religion, domestic life etc.
- Are your temperaments compatible? How do you manage your disagreements? Do you talk through them to rationalise what’s going on? Or do you result in the name callings, derogatory statements and irrational tactics?
- Do you respect each other genuinely? Do you consider each other’s advice?
- Do you have shared interests? while it’s not a must to have the same interests as your partner, you should have interests that overlap, things, activities, passions that are common to both of you.
- and finally, are you attracted to each other? this should be the first point to look at actually.”
I laugh, trying to make light of the situation.
“Go home sweet darling and think of the points, I have mentioned. If you have positive answers to all, then you and Timothy are compatible.” I tell her “And whatever happens, I want you to know that I’ll be here for you.”
“Thanks Demee” she says and gets up to leave.
I smile, all in a day’s work I say to myself.
Dear Reader, are you in the same boat as Sarah? Are wondering if you and your partner are compatible? Go through my list and do the same as I have advised.
If you enjoyed the post, please do let me know in the comment section below, it’s the month of love.